Category: Let's talk
And which ones will get the friend an exit out of your lives? My hit list: a good confidant that once you tell something it doesn't come back to haunt you later or get you sat down in a supervisor's office; someone who takes a little bit of his or her time with you one on one when you're sick or cranky; someone you can laugh out loud with; someone who his happy with his or her life and wants to share it with you; someone you know where you stand with and are comfortable isn't going behind your back with a different story; someone who respects your limits as a human being.
The miss list: someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and refuses to accept 'no' for an answer 3,4,8+ times; someone who doesn't have time for one on one with you but always has your number handy when they want to mooch; someone who can't openly disagree with you but goes behind your back about how 'offended' they are; someone taking their misery out on you...they're not happy with their family or job so you can't be either? Friends should be happy for each other, and if they can't they're not friends IMO. Also someone who breaks a confidence (except maybe to protect your safety) defineitly would be out with me. Any other ideas?
On the miss list:
Anyone who is more interested in making a point than a friendship: Cute when you're a young fool hipster idealist but unbecoming of anyone who's of age.
On the yes list: Definitely one for good times. Life's just too short anymore to get hung up with all the silly stuff.
On the yes list. A good listener, who doesn't dudge you, some one to share your joys and sorrows. On the no list. Sone one who is dis onist and who doesn't listen.
I'm with Leo on this one.
Win: People who are comfortable in their own skin, who like to learn rather than be educated or be right, who like to try new things, who have their life in some basic order.
Lose: Self-absorbed, self-centered, pigheaded, overly sensitive, dependent, lazy.
Win: someone who is loyal, reasonably intelligent, willing to have a good conversation, ready to be there through good and bad times, someone who doesn't listen to others' bullshit, and preferably someone who I can listen to music with, whe doesn't mind companionable quiet sometimes.
Lose: Someone who generalizes, stereotypes, jumps to conclusions, listens to/perpetrates drama, lies and deceives, uses everyone selfishly, acts superior, has to have a worse (or better) life than everyone else, someone who's a complete idiot, someone who thinks their way of existence is the only valid one...omg well, my lose list could go on forever and include 80 % of the human race, and don't mind the pessimist but I think that low of a percentage is generous....
good qualities: honesty, respect, closeness, communicative, interested in things together, loyalty, inteligent, clean, friendly, self-interested, pleasant, trustworthy, , intimate, devoted, helpful,
and the qualities that I really can't tolerate are basically the right opposite,plus: pushy, demanding, mothering, has an attitude, all about sex and drugs, and so forth stuff like that.
I completely agree with the last person.
i've always said this
if a friend can't be there for you in your worst times, then they don't deserve to be there for your best
what i mean is, a friend should stick with you all the time- no matter how things are looking
Well said, Dan! Totally agree with you on that one.
Ideal qualities: loyalty, intelligent, the ability to be honest without being hurtful (there is a diplomatic, kind way of pointing out someone's faults), being able to share both joy and sorrow, being able to just have a good time and laugh together, and yes, Iyana, someone you can just be companionably silent with for a time and not always have the needd to speak.
Shit list: backstabbing, absolute morons, willfully causing drama, not being direct with me (if there's something you don't like about me, then just say it; I won't shatter), being a fair weather friend. Great topic, by the way.
Glad you like the topic!
While I think fair weather friends aren't really friends, there's an opposite that doesn't work either. Some I believe call these types 'codependents'. These are 'friends' who are there for you when the going gets rough, but when you work through your problems they go out of their way to be pessimistic and insult you to bring you back down to their misery level. Some intentionally, I believe this is codependence, intentionally gravitate towards problem prone people, then when these folks somehow get their lives in order, they're off to the next problem person. "Foul weather friends" don't work either.
Companionable silence is good. Not all are good making small talk. Another thing I find important in friendships and intimate relationships is things in common. I just find it easier to click with someone who has more in common with me than less.
some one who excepts you for who you are. A good friend is never negative, jelous, or a back stabber. A good friend is someone who is always there when you need them. I think I just repeated what everyone just said lol.